And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
