oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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