Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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