She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
