dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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