how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
