I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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