She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
