I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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