i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Randomize
