Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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