Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
