Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
