matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My breasts were aching with rage.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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