he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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