Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
