period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
