I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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