Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
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he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
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After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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