OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize