So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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