the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
