So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
