A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize