he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize