I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize