Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
