I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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