I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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