I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
where are my eyebrows?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
