wat bout pragnant strippers??
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
