Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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