Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Panties = found
Randomize
