I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
