i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
