I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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