So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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