Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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