My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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