Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
