wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize