she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
