I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
