butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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