The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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