I look better un-naked...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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