she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
