we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
