DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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