i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
