You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
