What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
