i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
