We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize