she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
