i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize