Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
