i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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