we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
