i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
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She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
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Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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