If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
