I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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