Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
