Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
