You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
