p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
