i love accidental penises.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
