Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
