OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
