I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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