Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
