I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize