Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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