Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
